Underneath it all
by tsuruchi
Summary: Hisoka needs to find out what's going on with a certain man with a closed heart and a closed mind. No, it has nothing to do with the song. i changed the rating coz of a little violence. But that's all.
1. in the courtroom

Hisoka was sitting on one of the benches at the back of the room. He tried to immerse himself in the book that he was reading as the wave of emotions in the room crashed over him, again and again, leaving him with a throbbing headache and a heavy breath. He had nearly collapsed the week before, when there was an escalation of anger, and sadness, and confusion in the midst of a heated argument between two men up front. It didn't help when the crowd pressed in all around him, curious to see if he was okay, wreaking havoc on Hisoka's empathy bombarded brain. He said that he had weak lungs. Since then, the people in the room had given him some space to breathe, but it did little to lessen the turmoil of their emotions in Hisoka's brain.  
  
He had spent nearly two weeks in this same room, listening to the emotions of one specific man who was also up in front. The man had an iron will, and had a certain stubbornness within him. What surprised Hisoka was that the man would not convey his emotions, unlike the rest of the people in the room whose smallest worries resounded clearly in Hisoka's brain.  
  
It was.unnerving.  
  
Rarely had he encountered humans with a closed heart. And even more seldom had he encountered a man with a closed mind. Hisoka had followed this man in and out of the room for the past two weeks, in hopes of catching the man leaving his thoughts and emotions unguarded. But the man never slipped, and his stubbornness was like a shroud over his thoughts and emotions. At first, Hisoka thought that it was the steady noise in the room that hid the man's emotions from him. But there had been times when they were both alone. The man wasn't aware of Hisoka's presence. And there, for the first time in a long time, Hisoka heard something that he had not often heard before.  
  
Silence.  
  
Complete and utter silence. Hisoka was troubled. It wasn't right.  
  
Suddenly, there was an uproar from the front of the room. White lightning streaked across the room in Hisoka's mind and a white arc bashed him over the head, again and again, engulfing him in white hot heat. A film of sweat broke out and the book fell from Hisoka's hand. Blood was pounding in his ears and he screwed his eyes shut. Tears began to form in the corner of his eyes as the commotion was turned up a notch.  
  
The lights in the room went out and Hisoka was engulfed in warmth. Suddenly, everything seemed calmer. Hisoka opened his eyes and saw Tsuzuki's face over his. Tsuzuki smiled and his mouth moved, saying something that he couldn't hear.  
  
The noise in the room was still in his head.  
  
Then he passed out. 


	2. in the hospital room

Hey, sorry it took me so long to post. As I said, my computer exploded and the rest is history. Thanks to all the ones who reviewed (the very few ones who reviewed, I am very, very thankful, and I'd like to dedicate this to my ampon, kamikaze899.  
  
Disclaimer: I realize I have not put a disclaimer on the last chapter. Very sorry. I don't own Yami no Matsuei. But that could all change soon. (  
  
And so, without further ado, my fic. (bow)  
  
**********  
  
Underneath It All By: tsuruchi  
  
Chapter 2 Hospital Rooms and Visions of the Past  
  
Hisoka opened his eyes. A bright light greeted him and he found himself staring at the white ceiling of the office clinic. He closed his eyes and sighed. The two weeks in that room must have finally taken its toll. He was so tired.  
  
"No.I don't think.it's not right."  
  
Hisoka frowned. Either his empathic skills had just reached a whole new level that he could actually hear other people's thoughts or he was just plain crazy.  
  
".it's his only.has to.by himself."  
  
Hisoka sat up and looked around. There was nobody else in the room. A glass of water sat on the bedside table. He reached for it and raised it to his lips.  
  
".but look at.don't you.it isn't."  
  
Hisoka paused and frowned once more. He set the glass own with a sigh and eyed the wall in front him vehemently, expecting it to open up and swallow him whole. He hated this room. It was so.bright. It wasn't like he liked the dark; the Lord knew how much he despised his lifelong exile in his cold, dark cell when he was still alive. It wasn't that. It's just that whenever he was in a room such as this, it was usually because someone was injured or hurt and the emotions they radiated.Hisoka shivered.well, they made him remember.remember about that fateful day under the sakura tree with a certain silver haired doctor, and the three years of hell that ensued. And also.about black-red flames that he had so willingly burned in. Trying to distract himself from his thoughts, his eyes roamed around the room for something to focus on instead. His eyes fell upon the fan on the ceiling. It was a white, three winged fan that made an odd thumping noise after every rotation. The wobbly pole that held the fan to the ceiling gave the impression that it was close to snapping in half, sending down those three razor sharp blades to lodge themselves in Hisoka's skull. Hisoka paused from his train of thought and shook his head vigorously.  
  
What was it with him and Death?  
  
tsuruchi rolls her eyes (9_9) : ".um.helloooo?? Hisoka.??  
  
Casting his eyes around once more, he saw a ventilation shaft near the head of his bed and he sighed in relief. He wasn't going crazy after all. He raised his ear to the ventilation shaft and listened to his partner and the secretary argue.  
  
".Tatsumi.no."  
  
".what good would it.don't bother."  
  
".but can't you."  
  
"No, Tsuzuki. It's the request of.we can't turn it down."  
  
Whose request?  
  
The door to the clinic opened and Watari walked in.  
  
"Afternoon, bon! Feeling better?" Watari smiled.  
  
"Hn?" Hisoka blinked.  
  
"I said: 'Afternoon, bon! Feeling-'"  
  
"I heard. I heard." Hisoka said, waving his hand for Watari to stop.  
  
What is it with the people around here? If they say something and you say 'What?' they say the same thing all over again. Weird.  
  
"Here, take these. This'll perk you up nice and fast." Watari said, approaching Hisoka's bed. Hisoka eyed the pills fearfully. He looked at Watari. He looked at the pills. He looked at Watari's smiling face again. He decided the pills were dangerous for his.masculine (??) health.  
  
"Oh.uh.gee.um.look! I don't have water anymore, see? Why don't you go get some?" Hisoka said, faltering for an excuse to just get away from the suspicious looking pills.  
  
"Right!" Watari smiled. He picked up the empty glass and exited the room. "I'll be back!"  
  
Please, take your time.  
  
Hisoka peered into the ventilation shaft and cocked his ear.  
  
"I swear Tatsumi, if you don't let him off the case, I will make you!"  
  
Hisoka smiled inwardly. Baka.  
  
"Oh really? How?"  
  
"Like.this!!!"  
  
A loud boom resounded in the ventilation shaft and a blast of air hit Hisoka, leaving his hair suspended in midair.  
  
Hisoka blinked.  
  
"You idiot! Look what you did to my office you hyperactive jerk!"  
  
"Well, if you only consented to letting Hisoka off the case, you wouldn't be wallowing in dirt you old fart!"  
  
"Don't take that tone with me!"  
  
"That's my line! I'm older than you!"  
  
"Well I'm more mature than you!"  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"Says me! What do you plan to do about it?"  
  
"I'll blow you to the high heavens! Take that!"  
  
"Why you! Take this!"  
  
"Uwahhh!! That hurt, Tatsumi, you eyeglass freak!"  
  
"You deserve it you sweet-crazed idiot!"  
  
"Don't call me an idiot!"  
  
"Idiot! Idiot! Tsuzuki's an idiot!"  
  
"Why you! Come back here!"  
  
"Gyaaah!! That hurt! Feel my wrath!"  
  
"Tatsumi, you're so scary!"  
  
"Stay put you little twerp!"  
  
"MOOOMMMMEEEEEE!!!!"  
  
The ventilation shaft exploded. Hisoka coughed, the left side of his face charred black.  
  
"Now look at what you made me do."  
  
"sniffle sniffle"  
  
"You're not gonna cry now, are you?"  
  
"sniffle"  
  
"Tsuzuki."  
  
"sniffle sob"  
  
"H-H-Hey Tsuzuki.I.um.I got a treat here for you."  
  
"sob sniff"  
  
"Here, look, cAnNdY!!!"  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!"  
  
"Waa! Don't cry Tsuzuki! I'm not mad anymore, see? I'm sorry! Look! I'm dancing! Hehe.look, Tsuzuki, here comes the choo choo train! Open wide! Here comes the wowipooop!!!"  
  
Hisoka looked at the ventilation shaft weirdly.  
  
Those two are.strange.  
  
The door to the clinic opened and Watari stepped in, carrying a glass of water. He had an ecstatic smile on his face which could only mean one thing.Hisoka gulped. There was no escape.  
  
"Open wide, bon!" Watari chirped, an evil gleam in his eye.  
  
"Um.ano.Watari."  
  
"What's the matter, bon? These are good for you! Open wide now! There's a good lad!" Watari prodded.  
  
"I-I don't think.um."  
  
"You don't what?" Watari's smile turned menacing and his voice became icy.  
  
"A-A-Ano."  
  
Suddenly, the doors banged open and in bounded Inu-Tsuzuki, his eyes watery.  
  
"Hisoka!" He cried before he glomped the green eyed boy.  
  
"What the hell! I-" Hisoka blushed as he tried to extricate himself from the wide eyed Shinigami, "Let go of me! Baka!"  
  
Actually, he was quite thankful for the interruption. Tsuzuki turned his head up to look at Hisoka. His eyes were very big and sorrowful.  
  
"Tatsumi got mad."  
  
"Really." Hisoka patted Inu-Tsuzuki's head awkwardly.  
  
"Mm." His head bobbed up and down. "He was so scary."  
  
"Why did he get mad?"  
  
"Because I was bad." Inu-Tsuzuki pronounced every syllable sadly and he pouted.  
  
"It's alright."  
  
"No! No it's not!" Inu-Tsuzuki shook his head vehemently. "I hurt him!"  
  
Hisoka stared. There it was again, that self loathing. Suddenly, it was Tsuzuki again who had his arms around him, crying. Hisoka felt a wave of nausea, along with a feeling of hatred, and sadness. Hatred for everything around him. Hatred for all the people who had ever caused him pain. Hatred for all the souls in the living world. And mostly, hatred for himself. He didn't want to be alone. But all the people who he had ever come in contact with rejected him. Shunned him. Hurt him. Hated him. And he had hurt them, too. So, at some point, he had always wanted to be alone. So that no one would get hurt because of him anymore. Hisoka's breathing increased rapidly. He felt the white walls closing in on him, suffocating him. He groaned, unconsciously digging his fingers into Tsuzuki's shoulders.  
  
Stop.  
  
He didn't feel anything. The noise in the room came back to him and flooded his brain, numbing his senses. His chest trembled as he managed to squeeze out a word through his gritted teeth.  
  
"Tsu.zu.ki."  
  
Tsuzuki sensed the change in his partner. When Hisoka uttered his name, his eyes flew to Hisoka's face locked in pain. His eyes grew wide and he tried to push himself away from Hisoka, cursing himself for touching Hisoka when his empathic skills were in overdrive and his body was so vulnerable. Hisoka felt the source of his pain redoubled with a burst emotion. He yelled out, his body wracked with pain. His fingers dug deeper into Tsuzuki's flesh, tearing it. He felt the blood pound out of the wounds, run down his fingers, drip off his wrists, staining the white blanket. Tsuzuki gasped in pain as Hisoka's fingers lodged themselves in his shoulder blades, drawing blood. He felt his blood trickle down his back. He looked down and saw the bloodstained sheets. Reminding him of snow. Of his blood. Of his death.  
  
"NO!!"  
  
He yelled and pushed, screamed, flailed, and punched everything that his fists came into contact with, trying to break free. Everything was stained red and his eyes blazed with an anger that burned within the very depths of his soul. Hisoka's mouth opened in a silent scream, his body convulsing. He crashed down and clamped his mouth on the first thing he saw.Tsuzuki's neck. His vision swam. Then he heard Tsuzuki screaming, and his fevered mind blacked out. Tsuzuki screamed as Hisoka sank his teeth into his flesh, his fists, unconsciously pummeling his partner to the ground as they rolled off the bed. Suddenly, Byakko came out unheeding of his master, and he broke them apart in a whirl of wind and hail. Then he turned to Tsuzuki, sorrow in his eyes, before he disappeared.  
  
Hisoka was knocked unconscious.  
  
Tsuzuki surveyed the room, breathing hard. He raised his hand to his neck and felt warm, sticky liquid running down the side. He lifted his fingers to his eyes and saw that they were coated with blood. The room was splattered with his blood, staining the walls, the bed, the tiles, and the ceiling. Mumbling an apology, he stood up, and stumbled out of the clinic, leaving an unmoving Watari behind.  
  
To be continued.  
  
**********  
  
I hope that was ok. Damn it. I need my computer. Ok, thanks for reading, minna-san. Waa.I hope it was alright. 


End file.
